2 weeks ago I went the to emergency room. I woke early on a Sunday and dark red streaks ran across my eyes. By late afternoon I noticed there was a brownish hue to the sky and when I asked the kids if there was a fire nearby they said no. 6pm my eyes began to stream and by 10pm I was in horrible pain. Elias and his girlfriend quickly grabbed the keys, and Elias revved up the car (because that's what boys do when they drive their mom's car). Pulling up to the emergency room, it looked empty. Only one ambulance and not a person in sight. I kissed the kids goodbye and said I'll take an Uber home.
Upon opening the door to the emergency waiting room....I found EVERY BODY. Many were elderly hunched over in wheelchairs, some moaning with eyes closed as if in pain. The rest had masks on and coughing. I told the receptionist I'd be outside; 3 hours later I was seen by a kindly doctor and diagnosed with an ocular chemical burn in both eyes.
Purchasing a new face product that contained retinol, I slathered it in abundance all over my face including my eyelids the night before. This is a no-no but I didn't know because I'm not facial care savvy.
Before a trip to the emergency room I wanted to call my daughter who is breastfeeding her 3 month old in order to collect a teaspoon or so of BREAST-MILK, but she and her kids go to bed early and I didn't want to wake her.
As a mother, many times the kids would be playing at the park, get a nasty cut and I would discreetly dribble a few drops of antibacterial liquid gold directly into their wound. And the wonders breast-milk does for curing and relieving pink eye. I remember my father laying down as well as my kids on the couch, their fingers holding open their eyes and me saying...."Hold still, here it comes, get ready" and as the warm liquid hit the surface of their eye I would almost always hear an audible sigh of relief. Those who were not family/friends/or shy....they would bring their own sterile container for me to deposit my milk in, take it home and treat whatever needed to be healed.
My text to the kids this morning.....
Your mind tricks you into believing what you need is somewhere on the outside of you. A relationship, money, career, the right home, clothes, etc…. The truth is ALL YOU NEED IS WITHIN YOU. It’s your connection to your own soul you are desperate for. We’ve gotten out of order. We are seeking the physical first and wondering why emotionally, we feel so poor. Seek ye first your connection to divine love or inner guide…..THEN ALL THESE THINGS SHALL BE GIVEN UNTO YOU! We REMEMBER who we are (divine love) and cultivate THIS RELATIONSHIP FIRST. The rest will come! It’s universal law!
I myself have been taking stock of my doings. I'm getting rid of what is not healthy for me such as entertaining any man EVEN FOR COFFEE if he's not someone I find attractive. I either run into men who are extremely attractive and have a shallow to no connection to the spiritual realm or men who are not attractive but their connection and our conversations are other-worldly!
What I seek most in a man is his connection to his inner being. Then he's got to be freaking hot. My hot is taller than I am, muscular build, I WANT a few extra pounds and....I want a man with a foreskin.
And thinking so much about a partner is something that is not too healthy for me. I was sharing with my soul and the reply that came to me was to stay consistent in my own spiritual/sexual practice. Allow my connection to fulfill me. Allow my physical touch to satisfy me.
There is no end, it can be continuous, one can stay connected and fully satisfied with Spirit alone....(I'm currently not here but want to be....but only for a season because I desire sex with a partner). My guru Richard Rohr comes to mind.
At one point in my life (after my divorce 10 years ago) I was spending great quantities of time in radical devotion with divine love. We would wake up giggling, I'd see us playing, during meditation I would uncontrollably smile or laugh, it was like I was dating my own soul....and our sex was so honoring and sacred. What comes to mind is our/my sex was very educational. Spending so much time touching places on my own body I discovered what turns me on. I had been taught a man will turn me on. WRONG! I have places on my body that send shivers, give me goose bumps, and places that can bring me to orgasm. How is a man suppose to know about me and my special places? I've got to be vulnerable sexually and unashamed in guiding my man to my pleasure. Men are pretty easy....like super easy! :)
As I change my paradigm through continually repetition of right thoughts, right words and right actions I can change myself. We are the creators of our reality. The beautiful thing and not so beautiful thing about universal law is I can look at my life and point the finger only at me. I hope to create my life in such a way that not only will I be blessed and my children; but that others will see and know, that they too have all WITHIN THEM spiritually and physically to move in the expansion of their choosing.
We are all doing way Freaking better than we think we are! :)
Namaste my Sisters! All my being honors your being. There is great love here, NOW.