This was me homeschooling last week. A friend bought me a bottle of Kettle Espresso Martini and I completely forgot about it till I went out to the car that morning.
The literature wasn't any better (Steinbeck is my favorite, so it can't be bad) and I did manage an hour nap after learning.
I took the girls out of public homeschool.
Sophia and I sit on the couch and night and when she is about to begin, she rolls her eyes 👀 in a way that says she's EXCITED as she tells me about coding, cyber hacking, security, and psychology.
I signed her up at her request for Coursera. I took her to the library at her request to check out books 📚 on the topics she's passionate about.
I go to the ranch with Olivia every day. If I can't go a sibling will walk with her since it's the next street over.
I sit on the green grass as I stretch and move usually listening to kirtan.
Olivia is right before me in the arena doing ground work with her horse. She is teaching him so many things with voice commands and praise. She knows more about training a horse, what works and what doesn't, care and diseases of horses than I ever did.
At her request she printed out an outline of the horse and has learned every single part of anatomy. Now she is learning the internal organs. Olivia did not request any horse books, but I checked out some anyways which she doesn't care for. I checked out a book in which a woman takes in wounded horses and in return recognizes her wounds and beings healing herself. Olivia doesn't really care for this book either, but we are both eager to lay and snuggle one another. The book gives us an excuse to go to bed early whether we end up reading or talking....it really doesn't matter because we are TOGETHER.
When I ask my kids QUESTIONS on subjects of their passion, they CAN'T STOP TALKING. And I ask more questions and they talk.
Then I do it the next day,,,
And the next day,,,
And the next day,,,
And I miss a day.
Then I do it the next day,,,
And the next day,,,
And the next day,,,
Just trying to increase my consistency 1% more each week. I've forgotten how GOOD mothering and homemaking IS. How satisfying picking weeds and putting them in a jar is, cutting onions and garlic, jarring my bone stock, STAY AT HOME ALL DAY WITHOUT LEAVING, talking to my kids and their friends from the comfort of my couch. Listening to my wind chimes, meditating under the orange tree. Hearing the screen door close over and over and waiting in eagerness to identify the voice of the one entering or leaving.
HOME FREAKING ROCKS!
I was on a dating site for a while and a few men (a lot of them) asked me if I have any other hobbies than THE HOME. 😂
HELL NO! Really?
I gather my food from my garden, I take long baths, I have a comfy couch and tons of books, I have a private (during the day, at night Olivia sleeps with me) sanctuary in the back 40 away from the house, I have an X3, and I enjoy my FAMILY, I enjoy myself.....all I need or want is at home.
Whenever our kids are a little snappy, quiet, or distant, it means (totally my opinion) that I am not offering WHAT THEY NEED THE MOST from MOM.
THAT IS TIME.
My kids if they are messing up it's usually a call for love. The best parenting tip I'm trying to remember and practice is the tool of TIME.
To just sit and LISTEN, nothing in your hand but maybe a mushroom coffee (ryze), and just ask a question that will open their heart! Once their heart is open it won't close until it does (and that's another blog) and in a few minutes you can again begin....YOU CAN AGAIN BEGIN...
You can again begin......
To do the work of laying a consistently smooth path.
Time my Sisters. That's what we need to give our kids. Our ears, our RADICALLY AVAILBLE OPEN HEART, our touch, our kiss, we SEE them as we validate them, we ENCOURAGE THEM.
I'd rather be having hot sex somewhere....anywhere! 😝 rather than cooking and engaging with my kids. But honest truth sisters....it's ok. I told my kids sorry and I'm putting in the TIME needed to get us back on track.
If you are having connection issues with your kids....just sit on the floor in their room and your own book quietly, or watch them, or ask them what they love. And don't do it like an asshole. We are the one who's messed up, not our kids. Come to them with honor, for they are our brother and sister. Come in praise and encouragement not condemnation. No pain, blame or shame....ONLY LOVE.
Because
LLLOOOVVVEEE ALWAYS WINS.
Your love expressed through your action/body/words....that is what will win your kid over.
Namaste (all of me sees, recognizes and highly honors you).
You are doing BETTER THAN YOU THINK my Sister! 🥰
Shannon